Searching for Peace

 Perhaps the best place to start this conversation is at the beginning.  But where is the beginning?

Where does this story begin?  Where does it end?  One story's ending is usually the beginning of  another story.

There have been times of turmoil in life which have been eclipsed by brief moments of peace and bliss.  When those moments arrive, we want nothing more than for time to stop, and all else cease to exist.

That never happens and the peace invariably collapses into chaos as the world comes crashing in.  Much of what we envision in life is more complicated than we would like it to be.  Everyone has their own perception of what the world should be and this perception never meets in the middle with what really is.

Thus we are always searching for Peace.  We yearn for it more than anything else.  We think that money, power, prestige, a good job, a good relationship, children, or something else will be the key to unlock the door on Peace.  And it sometimes does, for a while, at least.

In my life I have experienced a series of different lives, looking for Peace.  I am sure many of you are be able to relate to this course.

There was a time, not too long ago, when I thought that I had found true Love.  I thought I had found my soul-mate.  We walked along the same path together for a long time.  I listened to every word that came out of his mouth as if it were liquid gold.  I believed that our souls were intertwined and that we were meant to resolve our soul karma together through conflict resolution.

I spent years meditating on how to be a better woman and wife to this man.  I tried to heal him and bring healing to our relationship at every turn, only to discover that he was using more medications to counteract my intentions.  He kept defeating our relationship, because deep in his heart, he thought that he did not deserve me in his life.  He felt so guilty that he had entrapped me that he was trying to kill himself to relieve me of the burden of caring for him.

From my perspective, I could not allow him to die, because I felt morally responsible for his well being and the well being of our children.  When I finally had enough of his abuse, the only way I could break this cycle of abuse and violence was to violently tear myself away from the relationship. 

"This is not the way to Peace," I cried, and cried, and cried... for days.

TO BE CONTINUED.....


Earth College                   Indigo Action                 Lyra's Prisms                    Luv 'n' Sweets                   Lyra's Prisms Art